The personal is political, the political is personal. I share some concepts that have helped me go through heartbreak to healing. (Plus: 'Grief to Gratitude' guided audio practice)
A nice read. 🖤 Best wishes on your healing journey.
I inevitably had my first real heartbreak in 2017¿ (very devastating, as you can imagine) and a couple years later I went into my community college’s library - just to look around. I wasn’t ready to go home just yet tbh, and I had been wanting to check out the library. Anyway, I went to the psychology section and happened upon a book called Ambiguous Loss (Pauline Boss). I honestly don’t know why it stood out to me, but my flabbers were gasted. Finally having a name for that pain; I had never heard it termed before. Reading about the loss and grief was so validating, and I felt so..understood. Less abnormal for the drastic reaction that my heartbreak caused. Because it’s not something we just talk about..the ugly things. I never forgot that book and ended up getting it later. It’s a good read if you haven’t heard of it. 🙃 Sorry for writing a book here! 😅
Thank you so much for sharing this. The book sounds really interesting, and will definitely check it out. The ambiguity of loss makes so much sense to me on an embodied level. Would love to hear how your journey through grief helps guide you today?
Of course! :) Yes, a good find indeed. It’s so relieving to just be understood. I have thought of writing something about how I cope/view some things actually - in hopes that it reaches someone who may need it. I am an overthinker though, so I always have multiple perspectives on any given thing..which would make that difficult (and very lengthy) depending on the subject. 😂 I did learn a lot from that situation in particular though, and I can’t express how grateful I am for the growth/how I see things now. In intimate relationships it’s mainly just not forcing anything and trying to take actions more at face-value/be more cautious. I try to be understanding, but mostly just end up making excuses for shitty behavior tbh. 💀 I’m a big believer in “if they wanted to, they would” now, and “actions speak louder than words”. Words to live by. I also keep in mind that you can’t make anyone feel any certain way (and neither can they). It’s obviously still going to suck if you really like someone or love them and they don’t feel the same way, but it’s a lot easier to accept once you know that it’s not you oR them sometimes and there’s nothing you can do for them to return your affection. The thought ‘it just wasn’t meant to be’ helps get me through breakups too tbh. 😅🤷♀️ I know everyone deals with troubles differently, but these are a few things that really do help me. Just having a good mindset about it. We all want to find the “love of our life” (and, of course, let us be theirs too), but it doesn’t always work out that way. It’s not the end of the world though. Even if it may feel like it for a while. 😅
A nice read. 🖤 Best wishes on your healing journey.
I inevitably had my first real heartbreak in 2017¿ (very devastating, as you can imagine) and a couple years later I went into my community college’s library - just to look around. I wasn’t ready to go home just yet tbh, and I had been wanting to check out the library. Anyway, I went to the psychology section and happened upon a book called Ambiguous Loss (Pauline Boss). I honestly don’t know why it stood out to me, but my flabbers were gasted. Finally having a name for that pain; I had never heard it termed before. Reading about the loss and grief was so validating, and I felt so..understood. Less abnormal for the drastic reaction that my heartbreak caused. Because it’s not something we just talk about..the ugly things. I never forgot that book and ended up getting it later. It’s a good read if you haven’t heard of it. 🙃 Sorry for writing a book here! 😅
Thank you so much for sharing this. The book sounds really interesting, and will definitely check it out. The ambiguity of loss makes so much sense to me on an embodied level. Would love to hear how your journey through grief helps guide you today?
Of course! :) Yes, a good find indeed. It’s so relieving to just be understood. I have thought of writing something about how I cope/view some things actually - in hopes that it reaches someone who may need it. I am an overthinker though, so I always have multiple perspectives on any given thing..which would make that difficult (and very lengthy) depending on the subject. 😂 I did learn a lot from that situation in particular though, and I can’t express how grateful I am for the growth/how I see things now. In intimate relationships it’s mainly just not forcing anything and trying to take actions more at face-value/be more cautious. I try to be understanding, but mostly just end up making excuses for shitty behavior tbh. 💀 I’m a big believer in “if they wanted to, they would” now, and “actions speak louder than words”. Words to live by. I also keep in mind that you can’t make anyone feel any certain way (and neither can they). It’s obviously still going to suck if you really like someone or love them and they don’t feel the same way, but it’s a lot easier to accept once you know that it’s not you oR them sometimes and there’s nothing you can do for them to return your affection. The thought ‘it just wasn’t meant to be’ helps get me through breakups too tbh. 😅🤷♀️ I know everyone deals with troubles differently, but these are a few things that really do help me. Just having a good mindset about it. We all want to find the “love of our life” (and, of course, let us be theirs too), but it doesn’t always work out that way. It’s not the end of the world though. Even if it may feel like it for a while. 😅
Thank you for this 🙏
Thank you for reading <3 Sending healing love your way