Why I track my moods & menstrual cycle: An intimacy wellbeing hack
Take charge of your cycles of pleasure. Here I share some of my fave tracking apps and tools, PLUS a discount code for my upcoming Cycle-Conscious Sex + Pleasure workshops (in-person & online)!
How connected do you feel to the rhythms and cycles of your body? When it comes to our health, whether that be physical, mental, emotional, or sexual, being in touch with our inner world is an essential key to our intimacy wellbeing.
This is why, this month, I’ve partnered with Menstrual Health Coach and Berlin-based friend, Danielle Keiser, to learn, collaborate, and share key wisdoms on the topic of Cycle-Conscious Sex + Pleasure.
We will be hosting two workshops:
Online on 23rd October, so you can tune in from anywhere – plus all ticket holders will receive the recording
In Berlin on the 24th October for an in-person interactive workshop
Make sure you read to the end for a cheeky little discount code!
Even though this content is not behind a paywall, I want to share that it takes time and energy to create and upload the content that I create, do please consider becoming a paid subscriber of ‘Pleasure Anxiously’ for as little as £3.99 a month to support my work.
I used to feel disconnected from my body, especially during challenging times. But learning to track my cycles transformed how I approach pleasure. I find the more information I collect about my body and its patterns, the more informed my decisions become in regards to my intimacy.
This week I’m writing to you from the beautiful hills of Tuscany, and I’ve found mood tracking and cycle tracking has been even more essential to not only witness the ebbs and flows of my capacity for connection, but to make more active choices to enhance my experience of pleasure while traveling.
Whether it’s through an app or journaling, meditations or self-pleasure, I value self-check ins and self-care as ways into reconnecting to myself and others.
Some apps I’ve been enjoying recently
Daylio for mood tracking
Earlier this year, I went through a really challenging period emotionally, and a friend recommended the Daylio App for keeping tabs on my mood. Since July, each day at 8pm I have been inputting my general mood from the day.
I select some of the emotions I felt throughout the day, how my sleep was the night before, things I did for my health and wellbeing, any hobbies I did, the types of food I ate, whether I drank alcohol, as well as my productivity levels, chores, and goals achieved.
For example you might have a goal to meditate everyday, or set firmer boundaries.
You can also edit and add your own intimacy elements, such as “orgasm” or “flirting” to see how this impacts your mood or how your mood impacts your desire to engage in such activities.
This is a simple activity that takes me less than 2 minutes to fill in, and offers a reflective pause at the end of my day.
You can also add a selection of photos from the day, and it’s been incredibly impactful for looking back at how the last few months have gone, and as a way of encouraging me to take charge of my day.
For example, if I’ve had a bad sleep, I increasingly intuitively think about what some of the hobbies or activities that might help make the day less “awful”, such as taking a nap, or going for a swim.
Over the course of a month, often due to my period cycle, I’m used to having not-so-great days, yet they still take me by surprise. This exercise has offered self-compassion in that I can visually see on the graphs that good days have come and good days will come.
Self-intimacy is finding what works for you, and I’m all for paying for something that really helps, so it’s always nice when an app gives you a free trial.
Daylio has a free version and a premium version that offers a seven-day free trial and costs $4.99 monthly or $35.99 annually. (This is not an ad)
Stardust for menstrual tracking
Tracking the menstrual cycle has been such an important part of connecting to myself and my body. Simply knowing what day I am on, can be such a powerful indicator for how present I am, how much energy I have, and what type of pleasure I might want to explore.
Over the years, I have used a variety of apps. Starting with the German-based app Clue! Which I used for years. I remember in the early days, you could add friends and compare your cycles (and see if you’re in sync).
Then, for some reason - I think for its continually hiding features behind a paywall - about a year ago I made the transition to Flo. Which offers a whole pleasure campaign with queer sex therapist Casey Tanner, and has an AI chat function to help you understand why your body might be doing certain things.
However, more recently, I came to discover that Flo is founded by an all male team. I also became frustrated with the off suggestions and push-notifications that felt off.
Not only that, but in the wake of Roe V Wade, and the threat of apps sharing our intimate data with third parties during such a turbulent era. There is the very real fear that inputting “unprotected sex” and a missed period could be used against us (at least currently over in US) if someone was accused of having an abortion.
Even though the app added an “anonymous mode” feature, earlier this year “Flo Health admitted it had sent users' private information about their periods and pregnancies to data analytics divisions of Google, Facebook and two other firms.”
Hmmm...
Across my social media feed and in conversation with friends, I observed a desire for something different. Something better.
Sex-positive educator Poppy, was posting a series of stories exactly on this and shared an app called Stardust, which I’ve been trying out.
The app shares that it’s a “women-owned period tracker founded on a belief in freedom of choice and freedom of privacy. We have encrypted your information to ensure that no governments or companies will ever access data that belongs to you and you alone, right now and in the future. Hands off our bodies; hands off our data.”
I personally love the user experience, and the connection it makes to the cycle of the moon. I’m still exploring many of its features, but so far, the insights, information, and holistic perspectives (with elements including: mind, body, diet, sex, folklore and more) give me a good feeling.
Instead of telling me how I am feeling (like I found Flo did), the app says “every symptom is a clue” that encourages independent investigation using the app's invitation to “go deeper”.
On my personal page, the app tells me my “cycle type” is the “Pink Moon Witch” whereby I am in sync with the waxing moon and this type is “historically linked to life transitions toward leadership and power.” It’s the perfect app for horoscope fans and plus you can add your friends' or partner’s cycles too!
Like many apps, it’s free to download, $2.99/week for all access, $3.99/month, or $24.99/year.
Keeping a pleasure diary
You don’t need an app to keep the score, but a simple daily journal that reflects on your experience of pleasure from day to day. I find gratitude lists incredibly resourceful when I’m feeling a little lost or disconnected.
And similarly, a simple pleasure diary can help to encourage us to stay on the lookout for moments of pleasure; whatever pleasure means to you.
JOURNALING EXERCISE
At the end of each day you could try answering some of the following questions:
What types of pleasure did I experience today? I.e. physical, emotional, mental, social, environmental, sensual
What moments of pleasure do I want to savour from my day? I.e. when I stroked my cat and listened to my favourite podcast, or the bubble bath I enjoyed with my waterproof sex toy
How much more pleasure can I experience in this moment right now? I.e. I will make myself a tea and massage my feet
Let’s go deeper together
If you’re looking to discover more about your (or your partner’s) menstrual and hormonal cycle in relation to intimacy, join me at my upcoming workshop, Cycle-Conscious Sex + Pleasure.
By attending, you'll leave with tools to track your cycles and harness them for deeper, more pleasurable sexual experiences.
Use the code PLEASUREANXIOUSLY for 10% off, and we hope to see you there!
Thank you for reading ‘Pleasure Anxiously’. As a brief reminder, here are some of the offerings & treats I have for you at the moment:
Oh this is genius! I've been lightly cycle tracking for years, but have been looking for a Clue alternative, will check out Stardust. Thank you for this!