From London to Berlin: Every naked disco I’ve been in
Reflecting upon a decade of being in nudist spaces and how important it is to befriend our glorious bodies. CW: And YES! There are nudes for your consensual eyes! ;)
As you may know, I recently got a job offer here in Berlin to join a beautiful holistic and queer-centred therapy practice. It’s been my dream for almost a decade that I’d like to live here. While Covid, Brexit, and a long-term relationship in London may have been minor barriers to an earlier move, I’m grateful for the wait. I feel so ready to be here.
Why do I love it here? Well, despite the rise in fascism in Germany (which I guess isn’t unique to just here) I really love Berlin’s open and progressive mindset. For one, the queer history of the city (just check out my trans history walking tour video), as well as the very active activist culture that became embedded after the fall of the wall, not to mention the parties and the vibrant nightlife.
But what draws me in the most, I feel, is the nudity.
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Free the nipple!
As someone who loves being naked, I’ve already been to three nudist events since I landed just a month ago. And recently discovered the history of FKK which stands for Freikörperkultur (free body culture).
Turns out it’s been a longstanding tradition in parts of Germany, specifically in Essen for around 130 years, and was something the Nazis tried to repress and probably something that would be seen as abhorrent if brought to the British isles - I’m well aware of the prudishness of my home country.
Looking back, I’m reflecting now how my personal affinity with nudism may very well have been inspired by this city.
I’ve been going to naked saunas for as many years as I’ve been visiting Berlin back in 2014, and have since gone to:
nudist beaches,
modelled for life drawing classes,
done naked photoshoots,
attended naked speed dating,
and joined the Naked Bike Ride in Brighton in 2017 – I even made it into the local newspaper with “TITS FOR CORBZ” :’) written with lipstick on my chest.
And since arriving in Berlin I’ve been to a Liquid Love, the Naked Tea Party, and a naked sauna. At the Liquid Love event I got to witness so many body shapes and sizes, listen to the limiting beliefs people wanted to shed while throwing their clothing away. We rolled around in warm liquid feeling and sensing each other’s beautiful bodies.
(^ Here’s a video of me explaining what Liquid Love is back in 2018 - it’s a bloody lovely event.)
At the Naked Tea Party I got to dance to my heart’s content naked on the dance floor while the tea fairies poured me every type of herbal tea you could possibly imagine. My idea of literal heaven.
And of course, the naked saunas are a must if you ever visit. They really know what they are doing here - with body scrubs, professional hot air whippers (that’s Aufgus for the pros), magnesium salt baths, and ice cold plunge pools. Everyone is naked and people are barely batting an eyelid at each other.
It’s just so. NORMAL.
Body shame to body neutrality
There’s something so liberating about being in your birthday suit, the way God intended. And yet, I totally get the fear of doing it. So many of us are brought up with horrific body shaming messages, that we inevitably internalise and turn into this need to control our diets and influence how we dress, impacting the relationships we have with ourselves and each other.
I remember going to the wonderful Body Love Sketch Club workshops during lockdown, a body-positive/body-neutral space for life-drawing with the option to model! In these spaces the beautiful hosts Ruby Rare and Rosy Pendlebaby would reference a study by Keon West, I Feel Better Naked: Communal Naked Activity Increases Body Appreciation by Reducing Social Physique Anxiety.
And it’s so true. The more naked spaces I attended, the less I associated bodies with needing to be these “perfect sexual objects otherwise they are not worthy of love”, and the more I felt at peace with my ever-changing body - with all of it’s lumps and curves, hairs, and blemishes.
I’ve worked with many Sensual Intimacy clients who have come to me with their issues around sex and relationships, and often body image comes up as a topic of shame - a barrier for experiencing the sex and love life they desire.
I often mention the concept of body neutrality as a “way in” for people who are struggling to celebrate their body - by offering a neutral tone when we talk about or think about our bodies. For example, some days we may feel more cute in our bodies and other days might notice a part we really don’t like. Neutrality allows us to just see these positives and negatives as part of the journey of self-acceptance, rather than letting them rule us, or define how we feel about ourselves.
Body shame is often rooted in ideas around gender and what it means to have the “perfect feminine or masculine body” - whether that be hairless/hairy, small/big genitals, slender/muscular frame. I wrote about how enforced gender rules are hurting us all, it’s typically just trans people who are the most honest about it. Just think for a moment about how many cis people get gender affirming surgeries!
You can have a read of my interview I did back in 2021 Body Dialogues: Trans comfort and writing into pleasure with Juno Roche who explains this idea with much more wisdom and depth.
Befriending the body
I’d be curious for you to investigate your own relationship with your own body and other people’s bodies. Here are a few journaling prompts:
What messages were you taught about your body growing up?
What kinds of things to think about your body?
How do you speak to your body?
When was the last time you looked at your naked body in front of a mirror?
How do you feel about being naked alone?
How do you feel about being naked in front of someone else?
How do you feel about seeing someone else’s naked body?
Name 3 body parts you aren’t so fond of…
Name 3 body parts you quite like…
Write a love letter to each of those parts…
Message me the world GENITALS below and I’ll DM you a free Genital-to-Heart meditation that has helped me and many of my clients:
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this topic! Let’s keep the conversation going, so I encourage you to leave a comment, like, share with someone you think might benefit from this.
Unfortunately I am fully at capacity with clients! However, if you feel like you need additional support, I’d still recommend booking in a 15-mins intro call to see if or how I can support you - perhaps we can work together in the future, or I can refer you on to some of my wonderful sex-positive coaching peers.
Now, let me leave you with the song that’s been on my mind since I started writing this lol.
Thank you for reading ‘Pleasure Anxiously’. As a brief reminder, here are some of the offerings & treats I have for you at the moment: